all in one phone call to the funny farm

Mom: "He won't go in the other room because his nose hairs will curl."

Me: "What did he burn?"
Mom: "MY PAN."

Mom: "I still smell burnt metal in my nostrils."

Dad: "Did you see that on myface?"

Mom: "Well, I told Dad I didn't have time to get a Valentine's Day tatoo."
Dad: "I didn't even ask her where she was going to put it. Maybe with the other ones. Oh wait, no one is supposed to know."

(whispering)
Dad: "he did what?"
Me: "what happened?"
Mom (background): "He hit his mirror backing into the garage..."
Me: (hysterical laughter)
Dad: "I am not impressed!"
Me: "Oh, ahem, right right."


they need help, that is all i have to say!